He moved out and I encouraged him to go. That’s the truth and I hate it. I wanted to spend forever loving and caring together. That was supposed to be the plan.
The truth of it all is complicated. I felt confused and even started get dizzy and sick to my stomach at times. I wanted for us to get some counseling even if it was individually sought. I wanted him to decide to stop and work on us.
I finally saw the truth: we don’t want the same things. I want structure and security. I had little comfort since the fall. The stress of having things disappear from my home became maddening.
I want to forgive. God, I want to be forgiven.