He moved out and I encouraged him to go. That’s the truth and I hate it. I wanted to spend forever loving and caring together. That was supposed to be the plan.
The truth of it all is complicated. I felt confused and even started get dizzy and sick to my stomach at times. I wanted for us to get some counseling even if it was individually sought. I wanted him to decide to stop and work on us.
I finally saw the truth: we don’t want the same things. I want structure and security. I had little comfort since the fall. The stress of having things disappear from my home became maddening.
I want to forgive. God, I want to be forgiven.
Published by Cachet
I had a mad crush on downtown Tulsa. I came to visit a few times in 2017 and in 2018 I spent a couple of months here. I wanted to so badly but circumstances were not favorable. Right after Christmas 2019 a moment of clarity was all that lead to a short residential treatment program and January 18, 2020 was move-in day. Oxford House Escalate, located near accepted me. I stayed 3 months focusing on recovery.
No one was prepared when COVID 19 hit the United States. I felt a tinge of shame as I settled to shelter in place and another moment of clarity revealed the novel Coronavirus had failed to take priority and an impeachment of POTUS distracted the nation as the pandemic consumed an entire planet.
Six months ago a ferocious disease raged across the globe and human lives are still being lost as it circulates through out nations. Five days ago, the United States Presidential election, unaffected by any impeachment,
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