I have been so stressed. Yep, I said “F@^% it” I was a little off balance and I crashed. I crashed. I hadn’t wanted to give up on this marriage before. I have turned cartwheels. Once I did a back flip and I have juggled a million emotions.
I have no evidence of his claims about so many things. I used to want to know why, how, who, and where. Now, let’s just pull that band aid off. I’ll heal.
I am not going to fall apart. I have not been able to get anything done in all this confusion. That is not okay, but I have held on to reality. I have even been able to stop letting him ruin my days. I get out of this apartment and visit my neighbors, take Pedro to play.
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I had a mad crush on downtown Tulsa. I came to visit a few times in 2017 and in 2018 I spent a couple of months here. I wanted to so badly but circumstances were not favorable. Right after Christmas 2019 a moment of clarity was all that lead to a short residential treatment program and January 18, 2020 was move-in day. Oxford House Escalate, located near accepted me. I stayed 3 months focusing on recovery.
No one was prepared when COVID 19 hit the United States. I felt a tinge of shame as I settled to shelter in place and another moment of clarity revealed the novel Coronavirus had failed to take priority and an impeachment of POTUS distracted the nation as the pandemic consumed an entire planet.
Six months ago a ferocious disease raged across the globe and human lives are still being lost as it circulates through out nations. Five days ago, the United States Presidential election, unaffected by any impeachment,
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